


Illicit Affairs

by Iamsherlocked07



Category: The West Wing
Genre: post ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26028205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsherlocked07/pseuds/Iamsherlocked07
Summary: A short fic inspired by the Folklore album (perfect for CJ/Toby). I came up with this after watching Debate Camp. I’ve always felt C.J. wearing Toby’s shirts was cannon. Please be nice this is my first published fic! Let me know what you think.
Relationships: C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Illicit Affairs

C.J. stood in a dark patch of trees secluded from the main cabins at Camp David. The now familiar, nearly compulsory exhaustion settling in her body. Andy. Pregnant. Twins. Thick tears fell fast and she made no effort to stop them. How could he not tell her? Of course what they had was never exclusive. But wasn’t it though? Didn’t she at least deserve to know that while he spent night after night in her bed, waking up together playing house, that all this time there was another woman carrying his children?

“C.J.?” She heard the rustling of branches and leaves behind her.

“Josh-“ she quickly swiped away the remaining tears turning to face him with a smile too bright and big to be believable.

He took several careful steps toward her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I think I’m just...I’m probably just tired.” She finished lamely, trying to hide the crack in her voice.

“You know...”, Josh trailed, “you know you don’t have to pretend. I know about...I can tell...I....”

“What do you mean?” CJ feigned innocence.

“I mean,” Josh started, stronger, “that if I’d found out Donna was....the way you.....the way you look at each other. I’m saying I see it. I get it. And you deserved to find out another way.”

Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears as she tucked a loose stand of hair behind her ear. Josh stepped closer still and pulled her into a gentle embrace.

“You know, I could have the secret service take him out back and straighten him out if you want...” he joked with that charming smile.

C.J. chuckled through her tears, “Thank you mi, amor.”

More rustling came near the path. She’d recognize the sound of his walk until she forgot her own name.

“Hey what’s...” Toby trailed off when he saw the stricken look on her face.

“I’ll see you guys back at the cabin.” Josh shot a look of support toward C.J. and hurried off toward the lights of Camp David.

“Jeanie?” Toby croaked. C.J. turned away from him not wanting to crumble before his eyes. Her shoulders began to shake. “Baby what’s...”

“Don’t.” She managed through gritted teeth. “Don’t...” She started, betrayal bubbling inside her. “How could you let me come here? With her. Without knowing this?”

Tobys face reflected the pain she felt. He stepped closer. Spoke softly.

“You’re right. I should have told you. I’m still figuring this all out.”

“You let me sit here thinking this meant something. Wearing your shirt like some kind of idiot. This whole time she’s known. This whole time she’s had the upper hand. And I’m just the collateral damage.”

Toby stood, hands clasped behind his back. Absorbing her words as if they were a penance.

“And you tell me like that? How am I supposed to react like that? These secrets, Toby. Sometimes I can’t remember who we’re keeping what from.”

“I know.”

“We fall apart like this and I just have to take it with my head held high.” Anger welled up inside her, “is this about babies? Is this about what I’m not? What I can’t give you?”

“C.J., of course not....”

“I’d like to think this is somehow my fault. My failing. Because I don’t know how to deal with thinking you’d hurt me like this. You’d betray me this way. So it must be me” her voice cracked and his heart twisted painfully. Instinct kicked in and he stepped toward her, reaching a hand out.

“You know I’ve never lied about the way I feel about you. About us.”

“I know”, she smiled sadly, “that’s what makes this so much harder somehow.”

“Just give me some time. Please. Let me show you. Let me show you I can be the man you think I am. I don’t...I can’t lose you. This.”, he gestured between them.

They stood in silence. The only sounds were those of the trees in the wind and the crickets chirping. He wanted so badly to get this right. Somehow he always managed to be a grenade, blowing things up all around him.

His dark eyes met hers. Their silent conversation continuing. He’d detonate himself a million times to keep her warm. The only way he knew to exist was with a flash and a bang. His winds blew and leveled them time after time but she stood in the storm, steady. He never knew how to thank her. How to tell her that she was the one thing keeping him tethered.

“I’ll walk you back to the cabins. You shouldn’t be out here alone.”

“I can handle myself.” And god could she. He knew that. But every once in a while he’d like to show her she didn’t have to. She shivered in the night air, pulling his plaid shirt tighter around her.

“You’re shivering. Please. You need to sleep. Get warm. We’ll try again tomorrow”. He spoke with such tenderness, the last of her resolve broke. She walked next to him as he drew a protective arm around her lower back. Her eyes fluttered as he placed a chaste kiss to her temple. She was so tired. The fight was too much. Too painful.

As they neared the cabins Charlie approached, “Hey C.J. you here for team Toby?”

Toby’s hand slowly slipped from around her waist leaving her colder than she was just moments ago. “No, thank you though, Charlie. I need to get some sleep.”

She bade then goodnight and starting toward her door.

“Claudia Jean?” She turned to see Toby half illuminated by the lamp post. He laid a hand over his heart. She gave a small nod.

“Goodnight, Tobus. I love you too” she replied quietly.


End file.
